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This book is a one of 24 - 20 of the world including special reports, visitors from: 18 june It's a big day. His girlfriend Ithra and her family are coming over for Saturday lunch. She's texted to say they are minutes away. It will be the first time his black family and her Asian-origin family have met.
He's wearing a casual T-shirt and jeans, but for once he's looking agitated. You're not going to get, like, pizza. Earlier in the week, when I met Tumelo and Ithra near Rosebank mall in Johannesburg, they'd explained that two pivotal things were about to happen: they were going to find out whether they would get junior doctor placements together in Cape Town - and they were going to introduce their parents.
It's late and Ithra and Tumelo, both 24, are both at the end of their final year of medical school at Wits University in Johannesburg. They became friends almost immediately in their first year and started going out in their third year. Throughout their friendship both have had other relationships, and both have dated outside their races before - but both feel that they received fewer stares when they had white partners.
I think it is a post-apartheid thing, people have a hierarchy that was built up in their head. Apartheid, South Africa's government-sanctioned segregation of races, officially ended in when Nelson Mandela became president. It was also the year the couple were born - which makes them part of the so-called Born Free generation. They are also free to love whomever they want, at least in theory. Relationships between black and Asian South Africans remain uncommon, though. If it's interracial, it's a person of colour with a white person.
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But Blasian is a growing social media tag used by black or Asian people in relationships with one another - sometimes documenting the specific challenges they face. Ithra's family come from Cape Malay, a community of mixed-Asian ethnicities who have been in South Africa for generations.
Born in Kenya to an Indian father, Ithra moved back to her mother's home country - to Johannesburg - at the age of six. It's where she decided to stay for university and where she would meet Tumelo, who was born in the city.
Ithra had a liberal upbringing. Her mother, Rayana, had actively opposed and organised against apartheid. But not everyone was ready for her relationship with Tumelo. It started with a mass exodus from the wider family Whatsapp group. At first Ithra didn't know what had happened. When we met, Ithra hadn't spoken to her grandmother Washiela since that moment. It had been almost three months. Ithra and her four sisters mill around in the background, speaking over each other as they cut fruit, boil tea and flip pancakes, in an almost synchronised dance that enables them to avoid bumping into each other.
My parents wouldn't have stepped into a black person's home. Rayana moved back to Johannesburg from Kenya as a single mother and raised her daughters alone until she remarried. As she's describing how she campaigned against apartheid, alongside black activists, there's a sudden screaming from upstairs. Cape Town! The news came with a 'they'," Rayana exclaims.
Ithra and Tumelo have received the news that they have secured junior doctor placements in the same hospital - over 1,km away in Cape Town. Until now Ithra and Tumelo have lived at home, supervised by their families.
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But soon they will be moving away together to a new city. While she has always been supportive of her daughter dating a black guy, something suddenly feels different. There might be a future between Ithra and Tumelo, and that's maybe what it is," she hesitates. I always encouraged the girls to be open about everything. And now it's a relationship.
With a black guy. How open am I really? We're gonna get roasted! Ithra and her sisters - who have now made their way from her bedroom where they were huddled over a computer waiting for the junior doctor posting - worry that their mother's honesty about race may be received badly, especially on social media, when this story is published. It sits differently. I remember being so angry with my parents and my grandparents for not doing something about it. How could we be part of such a cruel and unfair system - and you allowed it?